Discernment… the ability to judge well. Who can say as much about themselves? Discernment in the realm of felt feelings and emotions… even more complex.
We try our best. We try to involve our bodies in the process… But then at times, it’s even more confusing than just going by the script.
Our bodies are complex landscapes. Both our deepest truth and our habits are (literally!) living there.
Our convictions are cemented in our muscles. “I cannot take time for myself,” says the contraction around our heart. “I need to protect myself,” says our tight belly. It feels so true in our bodies. Is this the only truth?
What am I actually feeling? Is it an adequate assessment of the current situation or is it something happening within me? Where does this “yes” or “no” come from, in my body?
The truth is, we often override our feelings. And just as often we misjudge the situation based on our feelings.
It takes time to learn to navigate this complexity. It takes time to learn discernment… notice and recognize the nuances. Maybe our contraction says “I have to be self-reliant”. It feels very true. And maybe underneath – once we get to soften a bit – we find our deepest yearning to be held.
Both are living in the body. We need to acknowledge this complexity within ourselves and others. We need to learn to sit with the question and embrace the uncertainty. We need to allow ourselves to take time, to answer more often “maybe,” “I don’t know,” and “let me think about it.” We are not instant. We all need more tenderness, kindness, and patience with ourselves.
Our bodies are complex landscapes.
Discernment is a sign of healing.
And healing takes time.