I want to talk about feelings today.
We all want to feel. We want to have an emotional experience and share it with our partners.
Sometimes, we feel external pressure, coming from the internet culture, coming from our own impatience or mistrust of ourselves and our partners. We get impatient, and we perform a feeling instead of allowing it to emerge.
Let me share here what has worked for me.
To facilitate the feeling (also in ropes), we must get empty first. Stop the mental chatter. Come into your body. Do a ritual if you need to support your transition… to honor the threshold.
And then, allow yourself to be with the emptiness. Allow yourself to feel nothing.
Trust that it will change. It always does. The feeling is our inherent ability, our birthright.
You do not need to complete the Bottoming workshop Level One, Two, Three, and then feelings happen. They are always in us, in you and me, in the form of subtle sensations, pulsations, and vibrations. Squeeze in your gut, pressure in your chest, trembling in your legs – these are all feelings.
You don’t need to do anything to call it out. It’s like a natural spring, groundwater bubbling up to the surface. All that is needed is a bit of empty space.
I’m calling you to be aware of how the existing Instagram culture pushes us onto an external framework of “success” measured by whether we can perform this or another “shape”, no matter on what side, top or bottom…. It messes with our self-esteem, creeps into our sexuality, and makes us make doubtful choices. I think it also pushes us to perform feelings we don’t have, just because this is what we think it is expected to see in the picture.
Dont rush. Don’t override the present. Don’t fill it with what you think you should be feeling.
Trust your body, trust it will feel what it needs to feel, in the moment. It will be true, authentic and precious. It doesnt matter if it fits “the picture”.