In a personal healing process, often the focus goes on healing our “no”, and for a good reason. It’s a necessary life skill, being able to say “no”, to quit the unhealthy dynamics, protect ourselves and set boundaries.
“Being able to say “no” is a key to the intimacy of any kind”, quoting one of my teachers Betty Martin.
I feel like for many, sadly, it stops here. We become “walking boundaries”. Keeping the peace at the expense of life and connection. Keeping the door closed so nothing bad can come in.
Self-reliance is only a stage. Healing is also about re-learning to say “yes”. To ask for attention. To ask for help. To let people into your life. To say yes to your own needs and wishes and the wishes and needs of others. Saying yes to pleasure, connection, love, and kindness.
Now, just not saying “no” doesn’t make it a “yes”. There is still a long way ahead.
A fully embodied “yes” is about saying it with our hearts, not covered with manipulation, expectations, and circumventing our way around…
Saying yes is the vulnerability of expanding, expanding my world to include your world, and acknowledging we are the one. Giving value to our wishes and desires. Exercising trust and hope. And choosing life in all its messiness.
What do you want to say “yes” to?
What do you want to invite into your life?