Being brave by being soft

rope bottoming staying soft under stress

Be brave by being soft”

Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen

Soft doesn’t mean “weak”. 

We are conditioned to harden ourselves when entering a situation associated with discomfort… Hard, however, doesn’t protect us, as much as numbs us and limits our choices. 

We can do the “turtle” by shrinking ourselves and waiting till the danger is over… We can tense up our muscles trying to appear bigger than we are – intimidating the enemy… even attacking and biting them first. It is however not a grounded state. In order to avoid pain or danger, we leave ourselves behind. This is the pathway towards dissociation. Also, we are highly reactive and very likely to go ballistic. Someone will get hurt.  

Real soft is not weak. Soft is elastic. Soft allows for feelings, even when it hurts. It allows for noticing what is actually happening right now. In reality, not in my scared mind. 

Soft allows me to ground in my heart, not in my shell. As I keep feeling, it allows for compassion. That means, there is still a possibility for the union, and therefore, the change. 

Be brave – explore the quality of softness. 

Where can you soften in your body, in your life, right now?