Breathe, my dear…

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It will be short today. I have gone through a period of anxiety and I feel a bit drained. I wanted to take this opportunity to acknowledge how many of us are out there fighting it daily. Anxiety is a toxic thing. It eats your resources and overloads your system. It is not something we share easily when asked “How are you”. And it gets worse when it is silenced… 

I thought I’d share some strategies that help me in those moments, and if it helps anyone who reads it, I’ll be glad. 


Learning to connect with my breath has been one of the most difficult and most powerful changes I’ve made for myself and it is the most powerful resource. Not only it is always available.. sometimes it’s the only thing I can do, when everything else feels like too much effort, like doing somatic exercises or going for a walk. 

Try this: suck in the air through your nose – take the full chest! Hold it for a moment. Now take some more! Then let it out through your mouth slowly, very slowly. This can also affect your posture. 


Self-touch is a massive help in regulating your own internal state. When we touch ourselves, we help our body draw a sense of boundaries. It is like saying, “This is the part that I am responsible for. Not all the things out there”. 

Try hugging yourself – just wrap your arms around your body in a way that feels comfortable and hold it for a while. It might bring a settling feeling.


We are not closed circuits. Our nervous systems are significantly influenced by those closest to us. Having proximity to someone who is better regulated at that moment than you can be really helpful. Ask them for a cuddle. If this is not possible, maybe you have a recording from someone whose voice has the effect of calming you down.

There is nothing wrong with using limbic resonance as a resource. That does not make you codependent. 

Get a space

I think the most difficult thing about anxiety is this blanket of shame around it, like there is an invisible dragon tormenting you and no one else can see it. The more you hide, the more violent it becomes. Maybe sometimes getting a safe space and attending to that burning sensation inside can calm it down a bit.

Giving in to it, rather than forcing it to go away, can sometimes have a better effect. 

Turn off the phone 

…and limit the amount of impact from outside that affects your nervous system even more. 

One more thing, by recognizing the early signs that your body is giving you, you may be able to take some action and be your own friend sooner. Listen to your body when it just whispers, do not wait until it screams at you. 

If you are open to learning some techniques, look for vagus nerve exercises on the internet. I think it is difficult to do a new thing when you are already in the midst of an anxiety attack. But if you learn it well and make it yours whilst feeling more regulated (preventively), then that can become your resource when feeling very bad. 

I ended up writing a lot. It is a blessing when coming into the body feels like coming home. For many it is not. I just wanted to acknowledge the struggle that many of us have and send my compassion <3