“How was it for you?”

rope bondage workshop feedback

Or how we give feedback?

In our workshops, the first feedback round often goes to the rope bottoms (not the riggers). We normally ask: “How was it for you?”

When giving feedback, often it is all about the technique: “this rope was painful” or “this worked well” or anatomical information about nerves and shoulders. 

Whilst this is all useful and much-appreciated information, how about bringing it on a whole other level? 

When you give feedback, try to reflect on what the exercise did with you on an emotional level. What did you feel when being in this position?.. How this transition affected you? 

Here is another one: What you noticed about your partner? How did they feel? Why did they do this harness / position / transition? What did they try to communicate? Could you feel their intention? Did you actually feel how they wanted to spread your legs in that kata-ashi? And how does that make you feel? Ashamed? Aroused? Angry? This kinda thing. 

I am thirsty to hear more of that. 

Even when it’s a workshop.

Allow yourself to feel it, 100% feel it, the depth of the position. The intention behind the shape your body is brought into. And the emotional meaning behind it. Vulnerability of the one doing it and vulnerability of the one feeling it. 

Open your heart.

Allow yourself to feel.

And share it with your partner. They will appreciate it…

Also: say honestly if you couldn’t feel much. It can help you to reflect on possible reasons. Can be 100 reasons! Was there not enough time, e.g. your partner was a bit too fast? Their intention was not clear? You didn’t allow yourself to feel, because you already knew / decided what you are supposed to feel? You couldn’t concentrate on feeling, because you were worried about your hands getting numb? 

When we are aware of what is happening, we have a possibility to change.

It all starts with honest feedback.